Why Asia Why: part 1

Asia, sometimes I just don't get you.

What is 'Sexphone'? And why call it (and the wifi network in the mall) 'Sexphone'? To my knowledge Sexphone is just like every other random cellphone selling stand in the mall, but rather than call it 'IT Mobile' or 'Jay Tech' or some other random generic name, they went with 'Sexphone'. Why?

Why, Asia, do you cut your sausages into flower shapes? The normal sausage shape is fine. Germans have been doing it for years. The flower shape makes it weirder to eat. Why the flower?

Why in God's name are your mannequins so messed up? With scary clown hair and tiny little heads? 

What's up with your t shirt themes? We've seen Nazi symbols (with Heil Hitler written above), misspellings of every type, and today I saw a pic of Osama Bin Laden on the back of a shirt. And even when the shirts are nice, they're incredibly weird. The 'I Love My People' Tshirt I saw in Udonthani with an American flag as the heart? Has any American bought that, ever? There are like 12 Americans in Udon. 

Also, why is your entire continent populated with drivers who are either (a) in never never land, or (b) driving like a bat out of hell? Driving here is downright terrifying. 

Lastly: why is customs so ridiculous? Specifically the Lao and Thai border. Is it really necessary to have people park in nonsense patterns, run around confusedly and have to get paperwork done at 3 different windows on each side?

Why Asia? Why?

#laoslife: breaker box

When we got into work yesterday, it was sauna levels of humid and all the power was down. There is a breaker box in the corner of the office that has started to spark intermittently, and Zach went over to fix it. In doing so, it kind of blew up.

I have video that I will try to post later.

Later that day the electrician came and used a screwdriver to fix the sparking box. Terrifying.

On the plus side, if anyone has a heart attack in the office, we have a built-in defibrillator, in the shape of a breaker box.

Buddha park photoshoot

I was worried we would get lost so I screen shot the directions before we left. The roads near the Buddha Park are covered with pot holes. 

And while Google Maps says it's 30min, it's closer to 50min.

A brief and potentially incorrect history of the Buddha Park (Katie-pedia)

The park was set up in 1958 by this venerable man who the fled the country for Thailand in the 70's and established a sister park across the Mekong. You can see the top of the pumpkin temple from Thailand. 

Even though the statues look ancient, they were made in the last one hundred years. However, they were fashioned by unskilled laborers with concrete and metal, so they started falling apart pretty quickly.

Pumpkin Temple 

From the top of the temple

Apparently the Sleeping Buddha in the park is the largest in Laos? Though to be fair, I didn't even know there were giant Sleeping Buddhas in this country.

From my wikipedia search, Buddhist monks come through pretty regularly. Even though the park is new, it is still considered sacred...

And a mix of Buddhist and Hindu images.

2013: The Year the Fanny Pack Comes Back in Style?

And other awesome Katie fashion tips.

You know what is awesome? Functional fashion. Which is why I am advocating for the return of the fanny pack.

OUTLINE FOR WHY THE FANNY PACK IS AWESOME: (AKA Katie's Who/ What/ Where/ When/ Why for Fanny Pack Promotion)

I. Who wears fanny packs?

A. the 1990's: Pictures lead me to believe that the fanny pack was EVERYWHERE. I have seen plenty of pictures in our family photo albums and my mom is rocking fanny packs in a LOT of pics. 

B. tourists with "Eclectic tastes": AKA Asian tourists. A lot of them- still haven't figured out if they're doing it ironically or not. 

C. Hipsters: This is where I got my inspiration. One of the guys on our sites rocks it in a very hipster-like fashion and I love it. Also, I saw a girl at the Denver airport wearing a black / brown one and she/ it just looked too cute. 

D. Katie: I bought mine 6 weeks ago. I don't wear it as much as I want but it would look weird with business casual. 

II. What I look for in a fanny pack

A. Needs to hold the right amount of stuff: cash, phone, keys. I've fit my glasses case in there once but it was a squeeze.

B. Adjustable: Cuz sometimes I have fat days. 

C. Color coordination: Mine is brown AND black so I can wear it with EVERYTHING (Almost)

III. Where can I find awesome fanny packs?

A. Online: Amazon has a ton. I would post a link but apparently our home internet combined with Lao Internet regulations means I cannot use Amazon. Anddddddd I'm not the only one who thinks so: http://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow/hip-fanny-packs 

B. Apparently, Laos. I found like 25 different colors and styles at Homeideal (which is like Target combined with Walmart combined with a homeless man's fort under a bridge). That's where I got mine :) 

IV. When are fanny packs useful?

A. ALL THE TIME.

B. But especially walking around.

C. Formal occasions less so.

V. Why are fanny packs awesome?

A. Walking: Bangkok/ Vang Vieng/ Vientiane/ everywhere we go I love to walk. And purses suck. They just bang against your hip and tug at your shoulder and you have to do that awkward thing at restaurants where you put it on the back of a chair but secure it so you know it won't get get taken/ forgotten.

B. Security/ not getting mugged. Long story short I carried a clutch one night in Kuala Lumpur last year and a group of guys came up and hit my arms so I dropped it. Then they ran off with my clutch and I had to cancel all my credit cards and stay up till 5am talking with my banks about locking my accounts from fraud. Getting mugged sucks (and I still have a bad taste in my mouth re: KL)

C. Cheap, so you can get more than one and have no problem when it gets dirty. I have a beautiful Coach purse that was a Christmas present a couple years ago that I have worn twice because I am terrified I will hurt it. 

D. Slimming in a 90's kind of way. Like how women used to tuck their shirts into shorts and it looked really cute but now it's old fashioned. I have this one black maxi dress and I think it looks 312908 times better with the fanny pack. But alas I have been told I shouldn't wear it when going out cuz it's not fashionable. (Lies.)

VI. Moral of the story: Functionality is sexy. Every girl should have at least one fanny pack. Or at least stop giving me crap when I wear mine. I loves it. 

Ponchos and manliness

Rainy season + scooter commuter= Nick looks like a grandma

DVD 'shops' and translation ridiculousness

Downtown Vientiane, kiddie corner from Homeideal, is the Seng Lao DVD shop. Since the nearest movie theater in Thailand, and there are only three TV channels in English, DVD shops are the Lao expat's main resource for lazy entertainment. I assume all the DVDs are pirated, which normally I'm against, but the quality is good (none of the 'hidden camera in a movie theater' stuff) and the DVDs cost 10,000kip each ($1.33).

The beautiful thing that I realized yesterday: some of the back cover summaries on the DVDs are wrong.

They should be the studio's teaser, trying to get you to watch the movie; instead, some of the back covers at Seng Lao are movie reviews. Some of these movie reviews are NOT very flattering. 

This movie (something with a princess and a Hawaiian name that starts with K) had the best / worst review I've seen yet.  Don't know if the quality is good enough to read, but essentially the review talked about how sub-par the acting in the movie was.

For example: 'the script, sadly, doesn't fully flesh her out as I had hoped', '[character] is two-dimensional, and is allowed only to look deeply concerned', 'comes off as just a generic...' (This is how the summary trails off)

Kip

Kip is the Lao currency. There are no coins, only bills, and they come in denominations of 1,000, 2,000, 5,000, 10,000, 20,000, 50,000 and 100,000. 

Thoughts on spending Lao money: I find the 20,000kip and 50,000kip bills to be the most useful by far, especially when buying food (which is the main thing I buy). Lunch is typically 20,000kip.

And when I spend 100,000kip on a night out, I think 'man that was expensive!'

Jus trip out that in perspective, 100,000kip is about $13.